Dead or Alive’, the important thing is that the girls’ look good.
Don’t misunderstand me. Not that it bothers you (on the contrary!) when, during several moments of the film, the entire screen is occupied by the tight behind of one of the protagonists of ‘DOA: Dead or Alive’, but let’s see… who is the film aimed at? What does the director think he is doing? Do these girls feel good knowing that the only thing that interests them is their ? Anyway, I know, there are more points of interest in the film. Sure. There are also fights and bad jokes. Both one and the other leaves so much to be desired that the film becomes a mere vehicle for showcasing the “actresses” that appear on the poster-claim. It is that there is even a plane in which the camera is dedicated to slowly surround the butt of one of the girls. And that’s just one example. It is unfortunate.
‘DOA: Dead or Alive’ “tells” how the best fighters on the planet are recruited to participate in a strange and luxurious tournament that takes place on a mysterious island. Each fighter has his own motivations (HA HA HA) and among them stands out Kasumi, who participates to find out what happened to her brother, presumed dead after fighting in the same tournament. Really, the plot of the film is as simple as they are and, it seems, the fans of the video game have wanted it. I don’t care for that “it’s just fights”. No, no, there are movies where there are fights and there is much more. I don’t want to go into comparisons or polemics, but there you have the recent example of ‘The Matrix’… which seems to have done so much damage (because it’s easier to look at the bad than the good) to any subsequent production that wants to release someone kicking another. Because it’s boring to always see the same thing: the character on duty flies in slow motion and makes an impossible turn to hit the other. Yes, very nice, and what are you selling me? The case is even worse considering that this product is “directed” by Corey Yuen, who should know something about this. Well, nothing, video clip action where the movements are better in close-ups so that almost nothing can be seen. It’s that it’s to lock him up, dammit.
Darkman, a fellow cinephile, told me in another blog, just after leaving the movie theater, that the film does not deceive anyone, that it gives what it offers. And it didn’t occur to me to respond with another phrase that wasn’t “but it doesn’t matter!”; yes, okay, the poster and the trailer clearly said that the movie would be a bunch of scenes where hot girls would beat the crap out of a lot of people. Perfect. But does that mean that the fights are so poorly shot? Is that enough for the dialogues to be absolutely embarrassing? Damn, I’m back with the rhetorical questions… If writing a review of such an empty movie has its drawbacks.
And everything is so bad? Is it so bogus? No… well, it depends. I wouldn’t call it sloppy, because I only do it when thoughts like “when will this end?” or “I want to die right here.” Since this was not the case while this ‘DOA’ flashed across my retinas, let’s just leave it at that it’s a bad movie. In fact, it’s impossible to deny that the girls in the movie are a lot of fun to look at, especially Holly Valance, and that there are some fights that are okay; Specifically, the one that takes place in the rain was the only one that seemed to me to be very well done.
In short, because this does not deserve more time, ‘DOA: Dead or Alive’ It is a commercial product of very low quality, consumer cinema and fast forgetting, which can only be digested by two types of viewers: those who are satisfied with seeing girls kicking and those who already consider two hours of their lives lost. Look no further, there isn’t. There is nothing.
